2 May 2008

John Prescott's bulimia

It nearly made me want to throw up when I first read about John Prescott having an eating disorder. There certainly had to be something very disordered about his eating, but an interesting time for this shy and sensitive man to 'bravely' admit his 'disease' while simultaneously trying to promote his book, which presumable he hoped to make as much money from as he possibly could so he could spend it on, well you know what.
Four thousand pounds a year is a lot of money. In some parts of our planet it would feed entire villages for years and avert small famines. But in Prescott Towers, it was barely enough to whet his glutonous appetite. Taxpayers money too being spent solely on ensuring our deputy PM didnt starve or waste away. Imagine all the hours you work to pay the taxman, then imagine all that money disappearing down John Prescott's throat. Still at least it would come back up again, perhaps in keeping with the Labour way of taking from us and then, some time later, eventually giving back in a very messy way.
You wonder what really made him want to vomit. Maybe it was all the excesses and indulgences of life in power which he so zealously consumed. Maybe it was Tracey's shepherds pie. Or maybe it was just one chipolata too many. He'll probably want to punch me if he reads this but I'll just make sure I have an old can of condensed milk handy for when he comes at me.

Bye bye Brown

It must now be the beginning of the end. Gordon Brown will cling on of course for as long as he can, but it is surely only a matter or when rather than if he gets the boot following Labour's worst election drubbing in four decades.
He might well trot out cliches about listening and leading (or was it leaving?), but few people now take him seriously. He has been exposed for what he really is...not up to it. And we have to sit through the cringe-inducing fake sincerity sessions about 'Just getting on with the job' (not for much longer he wont be) and how 'tough times call for tough leadership' (notable by its absence in the last 12 months).
It always amuses me whenever you hear politicians - say Hazel 'everything is wonderful' Blairs or the disturbingly over-eager and salivating Ed Balls trotting out their speeches about how well they've done, attempting to convince people that black is white. But in this case, defeat and rejection were so overwhelmingly rejectionist that it wouldnt even be worth trying to mount a defence. This was personal for Gordon Clown and it certainly wont be fixed by just flashing fake smiles and his newly whitened teeth onto our tv screens, machine gunning the same old lines at us.